"Crying is like an orgasm for the soul!"

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

(Click below for the audio file.)

***Even if you don’t watch Ted Lasso, I hope the theme of this story will resonate anyway! 

“Crying is like an orgasm for the soul!”

Is that not THE.BEST.LINE ever?! It’s from the first episode of the third season of Ted Lasso! 

The ultimate in release and expression of our deepest selves! Messy and unpredictable, and often like a fingerprint- no two are exactly the same! Although, I do believe there are categories— like wow, that was a “good one”- wow, “I really needed that…”, or that was a “big one”. And some are just like as they say, “an ugly cry…”

I have to admit that this Spring break while I was stuck on the couch healing the longest head cold ever, it gave my husband and I the excuse to binge watch Ted Lasso season 1 and 2, just in time to catch the premier of season 3! 

Last year, not knowing really what all the fuss was about, IYKYK (if you know, you know)- but I didn’t, so I thought I would check out the series before suggesting it to my husband. And then I knew! But in my impatience I wound up watching both seasons sans husband. But with season 3 coming I knew it would be fun to start the new season together- so over tissues and tea, we watched all the episodes. And yeah, then he knew too! 

This time, I kid you not- several times while watching the first two seasons- even with my clogged up head, I had the sense to grab a stickie pad that my kids had left on the coffee table, and legit started writing down quotes! Those dialogues, right-them-there, are some good lessons for life, relationships, and whatever stage of self-whatever you’re going through! 

Side-note, I think what’s so engrossing about the script, is that the characters seem to literally absorb the words of wisdom handed to them. So while we, as the audience, are trying to grapple with the dialogue, and make sense of what was said—the characters are right there also digesting it. So it’s like in unison- the viewer is changed, WHILE the character is changed! Boom!

Anyway, back to the quote at hand, and inspiration to write this. 

So there I was with my husband, feeling accomplished having finished season 1 and season 2—check that off the impromptu, unplanned, list of things that were not needing to be done, but were still done! After looking briefly at each other with a look of: “are we really going to watch another episode? Yeah, sure why not? We’ve already accomplished so much- let’s keep going!” So I clicked “continue” on the remote! About 10 minutes into the episode, the wonderful characters- Keeley and Rebecca were having an emotionally filled conversation (don’t worry, no plot spoilers), and Keeley says to Rebecca: “sorry I didn’t mean to cry like this.” And then bam- Rebecca beams back in understanding and says: “oh don’t worry—crying is like an orgasm for the soul”. 

In that moment, I said outloud: “wow, that’s good. Where’s my pen?!”

In those words, I felt seen! Gosh darn it I did! 

In fact, one reason this quote was so timely for me, is that just the week before I had drafted out a piece: “Dark night of the soul.” And so when I heard this- I could literally feel my soul jumping out of me, giving Rebecca a high-five through the screen! 

See the thing is, is that this quote made me think about how crying is as natural as orgasms. And when I thought more about it, I reflected that it seems that more or less- orgasms are revered in our society, whereas crying is often the thing people feel shame about.

Why is the free expression of our body celebrated (even if only behind closed doors), but not the free expression of our soul?

Anyone who’s had a “good one” of either knows how whole-fully good it can feel afterwards. It’s like eating your absolute favorite meal but without a food hangover. Sure there can be a bit of weariness afterwards, but it feels like your deepest Truths have just exploded. There’s no denying what feels meaningful- and no denying the meaning you just felt, whatever you can explain or not. 

And the interesting thing, is that sometimes or maybe often when we cry, we don’t have words for the exact feeling that is coming through—and so it’s like the Soul expresses what the brain or our consciousness cannot define! That’s pretty deep! Much respect to the Soul! 

Well now I’m rethinking that title—“dark night of the soul”…I mean “dark night???” Sure, it actually did happen at night—but “dark”—okay, yes it was dark then too…Well “dark night” just does’t sound right anymore! How about—“The Night My Soul Screamed Out”! Yes, that’s it! Thank you Ted Lasso! 

What about you? One—did you resonate with this quote? Two—do you also write down words of wisdom from Ted Lasso, or another show that has really grabbed you?