Thankful for...Feelings...

Not something I'd imagine I'd ever say this time of year...

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Being thankful for loved ones, other folks, special to me material items, experiences, and getting through tough life struggles is something I’ve been really aware of in recent years.

But this year when I was asked to make a list of things I was thankful for in the last year, what popped into my mind was a list of feelings!

Love

Hope

Optimism

Joy

Calm

Peaceful moments

Oppenness

Togetherness

Patience

Inspiration

Energy

Strength

Wisdom

Being

Grounded

I noticed that I only wrote “moments” after Peaceful, but really it’s a modifier that could go after all the words listed. Because although it seems I’ve been able to feel these feelings more this year (maybe I’m just more aware of them), of course I haven’t been in a state of calm, for example, all year! That would be totally unachievable actually—and maybe a little boring! Haha!

Interesting, though, in reflection about feelings I’ve had in past years, especially the week of Thanksgiving, those feelings were a bit different! Ummmm, the feeling of stressed- anyone?! Frustration, rushed, overwhelmed, busy, and definitely tired! I was definitely NOT thankful for those feelings!

But, as I read this new list over to myself, another feeling appears- appreciation. And then cozy-ness settles into my heart.

Wow- I guess this is what Helen Keller meant when she said:  

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.”

Wow, wow, wow- it was just while writing this with my jazz music in the background on this gloomy Monday morning before Thanksgiving that this came to me.

So why, I wonder, do these “feelings” fill me up even though they are intangible?

I think the answer may be, because these “feelings” make me connected to myself and to the Divine. These aren’t “things” that are given to me. They are gifts of life that come from within.

These “feelings'“ give me a sense of Wholeness—despite all of the tragedies going on around me. Those events can make me feel out of control, overwhelmed, and full of despair.

And as I’ve grappled with that (some of it I explained here: Taking Sides: Is it Possible?), I’ve come to understand, at least a little more about what I can “do”. And that is to “be” more of this list that I listed. To “be” more of this list for myself, for my family, for my community, for the world.

And not with a naivety of not knowing the gravity of devastation occurring, or a sense of apathy, or kind of putting my hands up in a state of disregard—but with a deep sense of intention to “be” the “things”, or in this case try to embody these feelings, that I want to continue to be Thankful for. And this list (and more) is what I also wish, soooooo deeply, for all…

I am reminded of a mediation by Sharon Salzberg:

May you be safe, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you live with ease…

And to you, my friend, may you also feel safe, feel happy, feel healthy and feel at ease this Thanksgiving…well at least as much as possible…